Shock

Septic shock has been putting me in shock! I can't wait for this week to be over! My mind's all saturated leading my group for this week's cases and small group discussions. And yes! Septic shock was the missing link! Tomorrow is another case. Another brain drain! Gaaaaaah! It's just the middle of the week and it feels like it's almost end of the week.

Sometimes I wonder what has gotten into me when I decided to go into med school. Or why did I choose PBL when I can be spoon fed somewhere else?! Why do I have to work my stupid ass off flipping pages after pages of volumes and volumes of different books and memorize and explain and explain and more explaining when I can conveniently go around coffee shop-hopping studying out without even bringing books and sit inside a lecture hall all day and just study stapled papers with slides from lectures. At the end of the day it's all the same! We get that degree. We practice. We treat.

"Why's and what if's" yes! I'm tired of hearing those! Why? Why? Why? It's just so frustrating how, after all the things we've read, after all the explaining and backing up of information and after all the correlates, we still end up slapped with the WHY's and WHAT IF's! As if to tell us that we've not read enough and I just can't help feeling bobo with that side of the board glaring filled with learning issues!

Well, maybe that's one of the reasons for the unplanned lecture on attitude we had on what a doctor should be since almost everyone who was ambush interviewed said that we do this and that just to COMPLY WITH THE REQUIREMENTS. And yes we just have to accept that it's their way of challenging us to learn because as they say, acknowledging your knowledge gaps and learning issues will facilitate learning because then you'll know that you have to know more. And if we really did understand what we said we have learned, we must be able to explain it not just to comply with the daily SGD but because we'll be doing a lot of it when we'll be facing our patients and their significant others who are well-equipped with their WHY's! So yah! Hello reality!

So maybe everything they're doing is for the best!

And I can't help noticing how my friends seem to be so engrossed in finding me a boyfriend. Puhleeeeeeeeeeeez!

Well I can't wait to pack my bags and run away for a while and retreat...